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  • As per Jared’s and others suggestions I’ve revised some of my material to hopefully provide more comedic conflict.  I’ve also written new material for this post as well. As always, I’m open for suggestions to improve.  Thanks!

    “25 Years Marriage”   

    Proud to say that my wife and I just celebrated our 2 5th wedding anniversary.                 …[Read more]

  • Shann replied to the topic Current work in the forum Critiques 1 week, 5 days ago

    I was always kind of a loner.
    Mom kept nagging me about going out and getting involved.
    Join the swim tram, or be a boy scout –

    so i became a member….

    of the Columbia House Record Club.
    And got 13 record albums for a penny.

    It was perfect, I got a membership card and meetings.
    And I loved I’m going to get an instant record collection.
    Now all…[Read more]

  • Nicole replied to the topic FIRST TIME WRITING in the forum Critiques 1 week, 5 days ago

    I appreciate your input, Bruce.

    I didn’t realize how wordy it was until it was pointed out. I’m working on being more concise without losing the important details, applying the advice I’ve received from Jared and yourself…

    Thanks again!

     

    NC

  • Shann replied to the topic Current work in the forum Critiques 1 week, 6 days ago

    Thanks for your insight Chris.
    I’ll keep it in mind.

  • Jared:  great impromptu “lesson”.

    Your methodology and logical steps from a mundane topic to joke was very enlightening.

    As I have mentioned many times, I can come up with the topics, get the story going but have problems really nailing the punchline.

    When I think of paper clips I tend to look at how new many boxes I have in  my house but t…[Read more]

  • Hi everyone, I got a super-interesting email about little while ago asking me to walk everyone through my strategies for creating comedic conflict. Below you’ll find my stream-of-consciousness. I tried my best to slow down and write my thoughts, but I did get ahead of myself a few times. Check out what I wrote below. I’ll try to revisit this idea…[Read more]

  • Jared Volle posted an update 2 weeks ago

    I’ve added assignments to Week 2 forum. Let me know if you have any questions.

  • This week:

    1. Go through the recommended lessons below.
    2. Post your set to “Critiques (Week 2)
    3. Review at least 2 other students’ sets
    4. Contact me and let me know what topics you want to see in week 3.

     

    ANNOUNCEMENTS:

    You guys have been doing great. Right now, there are 7 active students in the group. You’ve completed between 10% and 65% of…[Read more]

  • Chris replied to the topic Current work in the forum Critiques 2 weeks ago

    Great stuff Shann! Really like how you developed your stories from personal experience. Particularly like the first set , re the Amish girl.

    Only thinking off the top of my head, but maybe there’s opportunity to take the Amish set even further by developing things through drawing on the differences from their way of life to modern life? I didn’t…[Read more]

  • Shann started the topic Current work in the forum Critiques 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    I grew up in the Midwest.
    In a really small town.
    My hometown is sort of like the town in Footloose, except it was legal to dance, – it was just that no-one was good at it.

    You think it’s hard to date in the city.
    Try doing it in the middle of a cornfield.
    Do you know how hard it is to pick up an Amish Girl.
    You try and get her digits –
    and she g…[Read more]

  • Bruce Lipsky replied to the topic FIRST TIME WRITING in the forum Critiques 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Nicole: great and unique joke topics. Coming from a novice, my impressions are that the set ups are very wordy (I’m guilty of this as well) and this may lose the audiences attention but the punchlines have great impact (funny).

    “This was during a time that he did not have a car, so he was using mine to drop me off at work and go to work…[Read more]

  • This is video shot at home of a practice of my short person set (“On being short”). Hope the sound is good enough. I’m doing this set at a major open mic competition next Tues. Would appreciate constructive critique.

    I don’t do a full script but jsut prompt notes. attaching them in case if helps.

    Thanks everyone
    ON…[Read more]

  • Nicole replied to the topic FIRST TIME WRITING in the forum Critiques 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Thanks for the feedback, Jared.

    Over-simplify, while keeping enough backstory; I can do this with the second joke. Reading your comments made me realize how wordy it actually is.

    Regarding the first one, I came up with the following re-structures:

    • Re-structuring it in a way that encourages audience participation. Lead-in questions, e.g. Who…

    [Read more]

  • Thanks so much, Jared!

  • Jared Volle replied to the topic FIRST TIME WRITING in the forum Critiques 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Hey Nicole, great stuff. We can definitely use this to get everything rolling. Let’s take 2 paths at the same time:

    I especially love the second joke. I never noticed this, but as I was reading it I could totally see how weird it is. Try editing out some of the unnecessary words/sentences. See if you can get it down to around 2-3 lines that even…[Read more]

  • Jared Volle replied to the topic SHANN INTRO in the forum Introductions 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Shannon… OMG, this is a great start. Just reading this intro makes me want to hear more. The wall pictures and the sober karaoke are great starting points for a story. I even want to hear more about the Alice Cooper story. There’s a lot of potential there.

    By the way, your weakness can also be a strength. You can get away with a different…[Read more]

  • Hey Chris, thanks for introducing yourself! Can’t wait to hear some of your stuff. Let’s build on what you got!

  • Shann started the topic SHANN INTRO in the forum Introductions 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    NAME: SHANN HURST
     
    FAVORITE COMEDIAN(S): George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin.
     
    COMPLETE THE SENTENCE: I see myself as an inspirational comedian.”
     
    HOW MUCH EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE WRITING/PERFORMING?

    I started Open Mics mid December. I’m mostly working out of Comic Strip Live but I’m trying to hit 4 to 5 other open mics a week, fo…[Read more]

  • @Chris, you should now be able to edit older posts. There should be an edit button in the line above your post.

    Thanks Chris and @ncurield for bringing these to my attention 🙂

  • It looks like it was an over-zealous spam filter. Let me know if you have any more issues with it. I’ll check and see what might be causing it.

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